One Whole Year!

Girl and Guy will celebrate one more year of having me, The Beauty, as their pet. Incidentally, they will have their first wedding anniversary celebration on September 25th. Or, seven, in dog years. I want to wish them many more, as I'm a tad selfish, and want to continue my role as the "Family Dog".

A lot has happened, Guy graduated Law School, passed the bar, and obtained employment. Girl left the Friends of the American University of Afghanistan, but is still their friend, then she lived the social life, and just took a job Living Social. Too busy and confusing for a Labrador.

I may need to head outside to drop a load if anyone out there is reading this and can open the door.

Happy Happy Anniversary to Guy and Girl. With Love, "The Beauty"

The days grind on. I'm now incarcerated, and my captor only gives me a half hour of "yard time". He's one those FBI types, and apparently believes that keeping the country safe is a priority. Phhhhhhhft, how about me? What about my issues? I was watching the weather channel, don't blame me, that's what Mr. Excitement leaves on my little black and white TV, and now I see that Girl and Guy are on the Jersey Shore. Probably hanging with that brainless little sack of flesh named Snooki. That'd be an ok name for a cat, if it was lightly sauteed and covered with a creamy bernaise. Creamy cat is a big treat for me, usually on my birthday. According to the dog's life calendar, I should have 7 birthdays a year. Do they ever serve cat? Nooooo! I get every day dried, supposed, meat nuggets from unidentified species. I guess they might slip a cat in the mix, or ick a rat. Gotta go, the Screw is rattling my cell keys! Pssst! I'm busting out. Probably just for a playful romp around the neighborhood with my favorite Fibbie in hot pursuit. I like him so I'll let him set the pace. Love, "The Beauty"

Fun with the boneheads

I recently have been busy, quite busy. My captors changed the passwords on their laptops and I have been unable to communicate via this vital mode of binary coding. Don't let the dirt on my nose fool you, I have been driven underground, and have to bury my laptop in the "yard". Yard, that's prison talk for the field where they force us to march in formation. Oh yeah, they have some squirrels in the trees and free dogs that walk by to give us something to yap at. But, I'm on to them. I saw a Disney special where they had talking and dancing animals, fake ones, but they were eerily similar to the ones I see around this place. Following my food strike, they brought in a better plate of gruel. It may have actual meat in it, what kind of meat is a serious question? The lab reports of the gruel content should be back any day. My bet is that they are having us eat table scraps that were saved from Girl and Guy's wedding. There was some Purple Frosting in my bowl. It might have been the Raven's cake. We watched their game and they were robbed. Heck, the team that beat them are called the "Stealers". They could go to one syllable and be the Thieves. We have the Broncos here, aka the Donkeys, they only won 3 games, and according to Girl's Dad, they are already mathematically eliminated from next year. I looked it up, and he might be full of it. But, it's almost baseball season, maybe they'll give us a couple of baseballs to throw at the mechanical animals they stole from that Disney place. Well, I have got to go, the screws (prison guards) are throwing us a milk bone.

As Always, The Beauty

P.S. They put that fake mud on my nose and feet when they staged the picture.