Mac and Me

That's me on the left with Bella slobbering on my back,

and Jemima (white Lab) behind me on hunting trip.

Today we were out front hitting golf balls down the street, and watching that little bag of energy named Lily, run full speed back and forth retrieving the little white balls. It was great fun. Frankly, I think that Girl's Dad (GD) is too cheap to pay for a bucket of balls down at the local golfery.

Anyway, during the somewhat embarrassing display of mindless obedience by Lily, and shameless sucking up by the little b*tch, I decided to slip away. I went along the bushes with my head down while Lily continued her ridiculous behavior, in my attempt to make a few necessary social visits. GD whistled me back several times. Have I mentioned that he does this exact same thing while we are hunting. It bothers me a bit when he does that. I never see him on the ground, running after the birds on all fours, and does he ever pick up one of those filthy wild chickens in his mouth? NOOO! Not even to show us how. Sorry, I got off track for a bit, a moth flew by and I chased it. GD underestimated my savvy and cunning nature, he's a fool. Anyway, I slipped off when they went inside after they lost the golf ball. I sat quietly for a few moments and then skulked off. I visited a few little dogs as I went along and greeted a couple of my minions as I headed down to the Goodmans. Mac lives there, he's a big Golden Retriever who loves to wrestle, run and play. He knows how to treat a lady, and I might add, he doesn't finish off his food bowl. I did, I licked it clean. We played for some time, until Girl's good friend Christie called Girl's Mom (GM) who called GD who called Girl's brother (GB1) who came to walk me home. Like I couldn't have found my own way. I passed the other yipping mutts with my head held high, they stay in their yards like good little dogs, but I Got Game. They are a tad envious, but still love me for my heroic ecapades.

Bird Dreams

The Beauty here,

I spent the last weekend finding pheasants and chasing them into the air. It's noble work, dating back centuries as a sport of Royalty. I think polo is another one, but alas, they won't get me a horse. We went to South Dakota, there were thousands of birds, you could call it an "in-pheas-tation" Hah! The rain dogs came with us. Bella is a robot, runs all day, she might be an alien robot. Lily did OK, but she froze with all the birds in the air and shotguns going off. I told her that she'd be OK and we spent the rest of that day jogging as a team. On occasion, girl's Dad, shocked me. Who does he think I am, Ted Bundy? It only happened twice and did not deter me from running out and meeting new friends and chasing birds. We are going again in two weeks, this time to Kansas. Here is a video of me chasing a deer. This is apparently frowned upon by the locals.

With Love, Always The Beauty

The Honeymoon

Apparently, Guy and Gal are on their way home, They didn't phone or Facebook me even once while they honey-mooned. They may have forgotten that I'm the reason that they fell in love and married each other in the first place. I taught them about love, happiness, affection, curling up and laying on the couch for a quiet afternoon (I can do that anytime I want in Colorado), the soft look of another's eyes, listening without judgement, a gentle paw on the knee that calms, communication without talking........ I could go on, but you get the idea.

Did you know that the real name for my breed is "Love-Adore". You sometimes will hear people call us Labradors, but now you'll know what they really mean.

With Love and Adoration, Beauty, the Love-Adore

P.S. That blotch on my nose came from digging an ever so tiny hole in the backyard

RaRa....

The Beauty Here,

Look at RaRa, he lost his mind and the wedding bouncers had to give him the heave-ho. He looked good before the wedding, not so good after the wedding. He needs a leash, not me.

Always the Beauty

The Wedding

My Dear Readers,

The wedding happened! They are married, officially and that makes me the "Family Dog"!

Everyone keeps telling me how great the wedding was. Frankly, that is getting a tad exasperating to me. I have two very good eyes, and after checking my calendar, I find that September 25th, their wedding date, was wide open. I was left sitting home with the dog doofus twins. I walk nicely, and would have been absolutely triumphant if I'd been allowed to walk down the aisle.

But nooooo! I am left home like a Hefty bag full of grass clippings. Didn't see a thing. I heard that there was enough food dropped on the floor of the reception "Ball Room", to keep a kennel of 100 dogs happy for a month. I should have been there. I mean it, how much more available does it get, my calendar doesn't have a thing in it for 3 months.

Now, the two of them are traipsing around Europe. I like to walk, I love to walk. And walking around eating through the cities of Europe would have been delightful. Especially for those that were fortunate enough to meet me.

Well, I'm tired of typing and am ready to get my Lab on, that's dogspeak for bed time. For those of you who went to the wedding; quit telling me about it. Much happiness to Guy and Girl. With lots of Love and a nanogram of Resentment,

Always the Beauty

They're Here! They're Here!

Guy and Girl are here! I was snoozed in the kitchen, that's where the food is, when I heard Guy's voice and laugh. Running through the open door to the garage, I greeted him and Girl. They are here to get married, finally legitimizing me as the "Family Dog". We played and rolled around until they got tired. They just came from sea level, so they're kinda weak and needed to go to bed. They did insult me a bit. Girl said I was a "Fatty". My three breakfast mornings ended a week ago, and I've actually slimmed down, trimming four pounds. My self esteem is intact and I am sure that once they see me running and playing with the "Rain Dogs", they'll think again. I have a strong athletic body, and am more muscular than other Labs. All of that doesn't matter, I am happy they are here, and are now going to make an honest family dog of me.

Always the Beauty

Busted

The Beauty here.

Tough day for me. For the last couple of weeks, I had been working out a system to maximize my breakfast experience. Up until this morning, I would swallow my bowl of breakfast with one gulp. Then I would gallop into Girl's Dad and jump on the bed. The two Rain Dogs would follow me excitedly and roll around and we'd all play together. With those two fools adequately preoccupied, I'd quietly slip back to our little breakfast nook and quickly snarf up their breakfasts. Apparently my butt has widened a bit. This did not go unnoticed by my captors. They figured out my scheme and this morning, they shut the door behind me when I jumped on the bed. I played and rolled around, as cutely as possible, and went to shoot back for my other two breakfasts only to discover I'd been locked in. When the door was finally opened, I shot back to the nook, only to find that the Rain Dogs had finished what I believed to be my rightful second and third breakfasts. Now that they busted this scheme wide open, I am committed to finding some way to get my full(er) breakfasts back. Please go ahead and submit any suggestions, my captors are fools and ripe to be taken in on another of my schemes.

Forever, The Beauty

Playing with my toy

In the morning it's so much fun to hang out with Bella (although socially inept....) and my fun squeaky toy! Ever since that rat-dog ate Jerry (R.I.P...) this has been my new friend.

Birthdays Galore!!!

Girls' Birthday was yesterday (or still today, depending on the time zone...) and Dad's birthday is Today!! (or tomorrow, depending on the time zone...). Either way, I got a couple pieces of peanut butter toast for breakfast, so it felt like MY birthday too! (Although, I DID get the toast peanut butter-glued onto the roof of my mouth...as seen in the video.) I sent Girl a card, as always. She called and thanked me. She also appreciates the posts that I have been doing - since she is still in DC and I am livin' it up in Colorado. She likes to hear that I am having fun....but she did advise me to stay away from the coyotes. Good advice, indeed.

Her Dad is now in Santa Fe golfing and hanging out with Girls Mom and a couple of friends. I wish that I were there. I love watching golf. The sounds of the announcers and crowds are so soothing...feels like nap time! I'm off to bother Bella and Lily!!

Happy birthday to Girl and her Dad!!!

Tail Wag,

Beauty

New front doors

They continue to build, paint, sand, update, buy new stuff, decorate, and that means lots of people coming through the house. (New doors pictured above....behind the regal pic of Lily and me. I'm lying down....obviously.) All of them love me, and I'm developing a nice relationship with the workers and delivery people. Usually, I let the RainDogs run around, bark and jump, then I saunter in wagging my tail and they love me. Not hard to believe, I know. I hide Lily's toys while she acts like a fool. Eat a little out of Bella's bowl while she barks like an idiot, and then the visitors give me, the nice dog, most of the treats. It's so easy to outwit these two schnooks, I almost feel bad. But not bad enough to change. It's a Beauty's Life

Golf

What kind of a sport penalizes someone for accidentally stepping into a cat box and hitting a golf ball? That Dustin Johnson should call me, I'll lick his face and then bite the leg of that geezer who robbed him. Dustin was pretty cool about the whole dumb thing. I would have barked at the guy and chased him around the course until one of us got tired, or someone threw me a treat. Whew, I feel better now, The Beauty

Beauty-liscious day

The Beauty here,

Now this is Colorado living. Got up a bit late, ran in and jumped on bed, Mom confusedly led me to my breakfast nook (laundry room), and the day was off to a great start. Bella and Lily were fun to chase around the yard, then back to the deck where we sun bathed for a couple hours. After lunch, we had a few olives and cherry tomatoes, then back down to the yard for more chase. Bella is still an idiot, but Lily is coming around. I believe she may move back to DC with me, we are pretty close and I don't believe it would be fair for her to endure the emotional distress that my departure would cause. Bella, on the other hand, won't notice we've left unless she picks it up while doing her daily turd count. She can't count match sticks like Dustin Hoffman did in Rain Man, but if you need a quick turd count, she's your girl. The afternoon featured some strenuous resting and sunning on the deck, followed by some more vegetable snacks, then a cool nap watching golf.

It's A Beauty's Life

Beauty Talk,

Good Morning Minions!

Wow, what a beautiful day here. I've eaten breakfast, ran, spun, wrestled with Lily, galloped through the house, eaten breakfast again (RainBella's), and chased a squirrel up a tree (RainBella). She just jumps up the tree trunk, she doesn't sit there like an owl or something. Overall, a beautiful day.

Another Beauty of an Update!

Dad's mad

The Beauty here. I don't know if I have ever mentioned my love of dog parks, but I find those regular dogs running around sniffing each other's behinds, simply hysterical. They are such dummies, but in order to study them, I play along. Most are not very bright and worse yet, some are mean. My ear was bleeding after a bad dog in DC bit me. Now to the main point that I was going to make. At night, I like to go out and run around the big back yard. There are some really smelly, scraggly dogs that are just outside my electric fence, and curiously they are only there at night. They bark and yip at me and I run towards them to bark back. Apparently these dogs are a different breed, they call them coyotes I think. Well I played with them a little and got stuck on the wrong side of the electric fence. Dad had warned the others that I couldn't go out at night, but Hans has been sick and didn't know. He let me out and off I went. Hans sensed something was amiss, and he came and got me. The coyote dogs ran off before he came out and got me back to the right side of the fence and then inside. Dad let everyone know that I'm not ever to be out there at night. If I have to go, the front yard is my night spot. Nothing happened to me and I know Dad loves me, and now everyone knows the Beauty Rule.

Especially The Beauty

Hot and Muggy

Beauty back again.

I was going to head down to the pool today, maybe paddle around for a bit, but swimsuits are mandatory. I'm wearing a black fur coat; what more do they want? The RainDogs ratted me out. As soon as I breached the perimeter, with my head down low and moving fast, they went to full-on yap-mode. Hey, they could have shown a little spunk and made the trip with me. They have begun identifying with their captors, you know, like that Stockholm Syndrome thing.

Geez, I've only been here a couple of weeks and I've already diagnosed them with two distinct and very different syndromes. I could probably write a book on those two yo-yos. I need my own laptop or maybe an iPad. I wonder if they named it iPad because you can use the pad of your paw to make it work. I'll look into that, it'll give me something else to use when I plan my next escape. I don't want to leave, I just want a little more adventure. Maybe I'll buy a cat and teach it to swim. As you can see, I have too much time on my paws. Shoulda run for Governor, I love that rubber chicken they serve at campaign stops. Plus, truck stops always have great food on the floor. And you have to go to truck stops; it shows that you can connect with the little people, although the folks there are usually not little. I'm rambling now, off to watch the baseball game with Dad (chief captor). Still a Beauty

Beauty here. I've been chewing on my tail for days. The truth is, I could win the Colorado Governor's race. But I like my current job. My senior advisor, Dad, has authorized a fairly substantial amount in the form of a study grant, to analyze the two "dogs" that live here. Apparently dogs can have "Asberger's Syndrome" in a substantial way. The RainDogs spend their days pacing around a rubber squeaky toy. I think that these two fools believe that the chew toy will actually come to life. This, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. I've been scratching down notes and doing some interviews with these two yo-yos. I can give you one example of their nearly unlimited stupidity; when Mom sets breakfast bowls down on the laundry room floor, they try to eat from their own dishes. I snarf their food down quickly, then saunter over to my own bowl, where I casually eat my breakfast undisturbed. At first I resented having to eat with these yutz's, but then quickly realized the advantage of having their food as an appetizer. The RainDogs stand there with their ears perked up and their heads cocked to one side while I gulp their breakfast. Apparently Mom is not privy to my study grant as she occasionally interrupts me. Quite loudly, I might add. She might want to use some of that energy and volume on the RainDogs, it could add to my insightful observations. Enough for now, I need to add some entries into my Google charts. Always a Beauty, Beauty

Colorado's Governor Race

Colorado's Governor has quit, and we liked Bill Ritter and will miss him. He loves dogs, and a little political insight here, he hates cats. We have several nice people that are trying to take his place, and frankly it has turned into a cat fight. They are scratching, biting, hissing, and generally walking around with their backs all hunched up. Personally, I think they are all pretty nice guys, but they have said nothing that would get my vote. Therefore, over the next few days I will be consulting with my senior consultants to contemplate a personal run for Colorado Governor. I've never done a dishonest thing in my life, never had an unpaid bill, cheated on a test, plagiarized anything. Heck, I don't even know what plagiarize means. If I do find out, I'll copy and paste it right here. Should my advisors direct me to run, I will officially announce it on my own personal blog; Beauty's Log

Beauty here, I am enjoying my hazy, lazy days of Colorado. My yard is a couple of acres, and they are mine. I allow these two other fool dogs to share my space, but they seem unappreciative. I think that they may have some weird form of Asberger's Syndrome. I refer to them as "Rain Dogs". One of them, Raindog Bella, apparently ate her own tail, at least that what it looks like. Well anyway, she has a stub, and she spins tighter and tighter circles in a futile attempt to catch her nubbin; that's what she calls it. There is a better chance of her sprouting wings and dropping droppings on some of the more irritating dogs in the neighborhood than there is of her catching that no-tail. She is on "Prozac", it ain't working. Lil' Dog is much younger and acts like an idiot on crack. Gads, she can be irritating. Run, jump, fetch, scratch, bite, crap; all day long. If she lays down, it is to hide in the tall grass and surprise attack you as you walk to the back door of my Colorado abode. To RainLil'; it's not a surprise attack if you do it e v e r y time, ya dunce. Snooze time for the Beauty.........

Camp Colorado!!!!!

I am at camp!!!

Last week I flew to Colorado with Girl who was visiting her family and making all sorts of fun wedding plans. Girl told me that I would be staying in Denver until after she and Guy get back from their honeymoon. I miss them a LOT, but I have to say...I am having an awesome time. This is what I have been up to:

1. Lounging on the furniture (it's allowed here!!! even when people are around!!)
2. Teaching Lily to wrestle (she's terrible.)
3. Licking leftover food from everyones plates
4. Playing in the backyard with Lily and Bella (they got this new toy that looks like an octopus and squeaks like a rabid squirrel. It's tremendous.)
5. Having slumber parties with Lily and Bella
6. Watching the stock market with Girls Dad - I think that I give pretty good tips...
7. Mourning the loss of Jerry...a little neighbor dog, Mattie, ate his arm and tore a hole in his chin right when I brought him to the living room to share.

Even though Jerry isn't all in one piece, I have so many friends to play with and plates to lick clean. I love coming to camp!!!

More later!!

Tail Wag,

Beauty

Sh*t Bag Sue

Sorry for the dirty language...but this is straight from Guy and Girl...see the explanation below.

Girl got a puppy as a kid and named her Susie. Susie was a Vizsla and a really good hunting dog. The kind that wouldn't stop looking for birds in a corn field, even if her feet were bleeding from stepping on thorns. When Girl moved away, Susie stayed with Girl's Family. But when Guy and Girl moved back to Colorado, Susie went to live with them! I went to stay at Girls' parents house (the one with the other dogs and a BUNCH of land), and Susie went to the quiet home with Guy and Girl. It worked out for everyone.

However, Susie always made a mess in the house. She pooped everywhere. Even if Guy and Girl took her out 15 times a day, they would still come home and find Susie poop on the oriental carpet. This is how Guy and Girl came to call her "Shit Bag Sue". They would say things like, "Where is ol' Shit Bag Sue???" It was meant in jest, and, come on, Susie was 16 years old, so no one got mad at her. She was a great dog. She passed away last year...right around this time. But I'll always remember her when I would snuggle up to her on the dog bed and share her toys. Girl got to give her a hug and say good-bye. I think that meant a lot to both Susie and Girl.

Anyway, this morning, I had a "Shit Bag Sue" moment. I won't gag you with the details, but it wasn't pretty. Luckily, I got most of it on my bed (Girl says that's odd, since usually dogs don't "defecate" where they sleep...but I just feel bad messing their home up, so I use my bed.) Girl cleaned it up, washed my bed cover and Jerry (I felt awful about getting the mess on Jerry. Poor squeaky guy.) Girl just got everything from the dryer and made my bed - good as new.

Paws crossed that I have a better night tonight...

Tail Wag,

Beauty

P.S. this Picture above is of the great dog Susie.

Sunday Funday

It's SUNDAY FUN-DAY!! Although, not for Guy. He has an all-day test at school. But, Girl did get up early and make eggs for him so that he would have a well-fed brain going into the test. She's pretty nice sometimes. Especially when she lets me have some of the scrambled eggs after she and Guy are done eating. I remember Girls' mom doing that for me and Bella and Susie in Colorado. What a nice family.

I get to play with Girl for a while now before she heads off to a polo match. She tried explaining the game to me, but when she got to the part about horses, I was no longer interested. I hate those guys. They are huge, never look where they are going, and are more unpredictable than squirrels. The only difference is, a horse could really hurt me, where a squirrel only taunts me from a high branch.

I'm off to play with Girl now! Then back to lounging on my bed with my toys (just like in the picture above!!)

Tail Wag,

Beauty

P.S. Someone left a vacuum in the hallway of our apartment building. Scared me to death last night....just sitting there....waiting to get me. I barked at it, to let it know I wasn't scared (which is a lie....I'm terrified.)

Friends in Colorado

I just got a video from Girls mom that shows Lily, Roscoe and Bella playing with a squeaky toy in their backyard!! I wish that I could have been there to play with them. I think that I am going out next month or so...I get to go out early for the wedding and make sure that everything in the backyard is nice and clean for the Rehearsal Dinner that will be there. Also, Guy and Girl are traveling a lot in August-October, so they won't be able to hang out with me as much as they want. Either way, It's a fun excuse for me to get to Denver to play with my friends!! Like summer camp!

See the below video for an example of how I will spend my July-October!

Tail Wag,

Beauty

Lazy Sunday

Lazy Sunday's are my favorite.

Although, somehow Guy and Girl missed that message. This morning, Guy went to school, and Girl cleaned the apartment top to bottom. She first picked up all of the boxes that gifts from her friends for her and Guys engagement came in. Then she did some laundry. THEN the fun began. She vacuumed. She KNOWS that I hate it. I can't explain why, but that darn thing is so loud!! And it comes straight at my dog bed!! Since my dog bed is against the wall and the back of the couch, I usually jump like a deer over the couch to escape the vacuum coming at me in my bed. But then, it ALWAYS finds me on the other side of the couch, and I have to jump back over to my bed. Girl does not love it when I get on the couch. And honestly, this is the only time that my paws touch the couch cushions. She must know that I only get on the couch out of desperation, because she has stopped screaming "BEAUTY!!!! NO!!!" over the roar of the vacuum every time I leap to the couch and back to my bed.

After vacuuming, came the cleaning of the bathroom. Girl never can seem to get all of my dog hair off of the floor, and I think that she speaks of shaving me in hopes that it will solve the "labrador hair" problem. (what problem?!)

Guy got home shortly after Girl finished with the bathroom, and they went on a run. Thank God they didn't try to drag me. I just stop moving my legs and basically act as a kind of resistance training for whoever has a hold of my leash. It was entirely too hot for a black lab to be outside today.

After the run, though, Guy and Girl decided to ride their bikes. They went down to the Lincoln Memorial and then swung by the store to get cheese, bread, meats, and olives for dinner. I got some cheese, so we all won. Those 2 really need to take a lesson from me sometime....who needs all of that movement on a Sunday?!

Girl is about to take me to pee. Happy Sunday and FATHERS DAY!

Tail Wag,

Beauty

So much to say....

"So much to say..." Yes, I am a Dave Matthews Band fan, but really, I have so much to say!

I haven't written in a while because we (Guy, Girl, and me) have been quite busy. First, Guy started his Bar Review classes and he doesn't get home to play with me until after 10pm (my preferred bed-time.). Girl had a big event to benefit her non-profit, Friends of The American University of Afghanistan, last week. I hear that there were over 250 people at the event, and that those people raised enough money to start building on a new campus in Kabul and to also provide kids with an opportunity to attend school in Afghanistan. I never attended school...unless you count the weekend I spent with the hunting guys in eastern Colorado...but, really...that was just fun!

I hear that Girls parents were here for the event last week, but I didn't get to see them. I DID, however overhear Guy and Girl talking about my upcoming trip to Colorado to hang out with Lily, Roscoe, and Bella. I can't wait!! I'll be there for at least a month. Probably more. I get to go to Colorado because Guy and Girl are getting married out there in September, and I am invited to the Rehearsal dinner in Girls' parents' backyard!! I hear that there is going to be a big tent, bratwurst, and soft pretzels...my favorite.

Big day today though. I got to go to the post office!!! Well, not inside. Girl seems to think that I wouldn't be welcome. I keep trying to convince her to buy me a reflective vest and pretend that I am a seeing eye dog in training...but every time I chase after a squirrel, or try to play with another dog while on a walk, she says, I give myself away.

So much going on around my apartment. I'll be sure to keep you all updated!

Tail Wag,

Beauty

Workout Buddies

Good MORNING! I didn't get to write last night because I was hanging out with Girl and her friend/workout buddy. Her friend is the one that slept on the couch for a few weeks in November. They walked home from work yesterday night, and were really sweaty when they got here. I licked their legs, which they think is disgusting, but they taste so incredibly salty!! It's delicious...

I hope that you have a great Thursday - I know I will!

Tail Wag,

Beauty

BIG Weekend

I haven't written in forever. I'm so sorry to my loyal followers, but something BIG was going on this weekend. Guy graduated from law school, and because of that both his parents and Girls parents (and sister!) were in town. They all went to the graduation on Friday, and got to see Guy walk across the great big stage. Girl told me that I would have loved it, but since it took place in a church, I couldn't go. She showed me pictures though - Guy kind of looked like a renaissance painter...but I didn't tell him that.

Guy and Girl's parents came over on Saturday morning for "brunch" and I got all SORTS of treats...sausage, eggs, a grape (which was odd...), and even a piece of scone. Unfortunately all of those treats went through me pretty quick, and...well, Guy and Girl had to clean the carpet the next morning. It made me feel awful to see them cleaning up...but they kept telling me that it wasn't my fault...that it was all the treats, most likely the sausage. It was the first time that had ever happened to me (and them!), so they weren't too mad.

It was so fun to see everyone though! I remember Girls parents and sister from when I lived with them in Colorado. They have the BEST backyard...tons of grass to run on. Plus, Lily lives there - so we get to run around the yard and bother Bella when she's trying to chase the ball. Bella has issues...she gets so focused on that darn tennis ball! I hear that she's on medication now, but I am sure that it hasn't hampered her focus on that ball.

So, that was my big weekend!! I got to see everyone that I love AND Guy graduated from law school!!

Girl took me to the dog park tonight...it was nice and muddy. I need a bath, but more than that, I need to go lie down on the nice cool tile floor.

I hope that everyone had as wonderful a weekend as I did!

Tail Wag,

Beauty

Guy

Guy started his "Bar Prep" classes tonight. And to those who haven't lived with a law student for 3 years, that doesn't mean anything about alcohol from a bartender. I guess that he has to take a big test in a month or so to be a full-fledged lawyer. I hear that he is taking deposits to be on retainer for his friends...and that the deposit amount grows daily. If I were you, I would make your deposit now. He is going to be the best lawyer. I made MY deposit. I left him a nicely damp, chewed, sock on the floor the other day. I think that counts.

Girl took me to the dry cleaner tonight...that was about the extent of my excitement for the day. Maybe she'll take me to the dog park tomorrow night! I hope that the mean pit bull isnt there...last time he bit my ear so hard I bled all the way home. I wish that my Colorado friends were out here...Bella, Lily - you 2 would gang up on the pit bull with me, right?!

Girl is getting the leash ready! Better go!!

Tail Wag,

Beauty

New Addition to the Apartment

Girl is eating Dorito's...translation: I just got some Dorito's!!!!! My favorite kind, too...the Nacho Cheeeeeeese kind. It reminds me of Girls favorite joke (only joke??):

Q: "What do you call cheese that's not yours?"

A: "NACHO CHEESE!!!"

She always laughs at this one, even if no one else does. I really do think it's her only joke. If you have any others that she could possibly use, please - I beg of you - post them in the comment section below. She follows my blog, and I am sure will pick up on the subtle hints...

So, we have a new addition to the apartment! Girl walked in with a huge box earlier, nearly stepping on my tail in the process. She tried to "hide" it in the den, which couldn't possibly work since there's no where in this apartment to hide anything...either way, she left to get her hair done, and when she came back, Guy had the box in the main room. Turns out, it was a gift for Guy from Girl's parents. (I love them. Have I told you about living with them in Colorado???) So, Girl said that he could open it if he called the parents first...they didn't answer, so he sliced into the box and pulled out a new audio system with a blu-ray player. We don't have any blu-ray discs, Girl says...but she thinks that I might like watching movies better when we get some. I really love watching sports...or movies with lots of moving and explosions. Die Hard With a Vengeance is my favorite move of all time.

I better go supervise the setting-up process....lots to sniff and put my nose on...and maybe Girl is still eating those delicious Dorito's.....

Tail Wag,

Beauty

Graduates everywhere

I didn't go to school...not even puppy training. I guess you could say I was home schooled. But three of my closest people are graduating this month.

First of all - Guy is graduating from Law school!! Thats 3 years of school...."intense" is what he called it. I am so proud of him, as is Girl.

Second, Guy's sister graduated today with her Masters!! She worked full time while going to school. I cant even imagine how much work that was. I mean, a busy day for me is waking up, eating breakfast, going on my walk, sleeping, playing with Jerry, going on another walk, helping Girl cook dinner, wrestling with Guy, going on another walk, getting my dog cookie, and going to bed. Something tells me that Guy's sister worked a bit harder than me...

THIRD - Girls friend from Savannah, who is going to school in Baton Rouge graduated with HER masters!! I am in educated company all of a sudden! It makes me think of going back to school. And by "going back" I mean "going". I would study zoology. I bet that a Panda would make a good friend....or at least chew toy.

I'm so proud of my graduates. I can't wait to lick their feet and show them how excited I am!!

Dog cookie time...

Tail Wag,

Beauty

Pot Head

Have I told you about Girl's cooking? She always shares with me. Whether it's by accident or on purpose, I usually get at least a morsel of what she and Guy are eating for dinner.

Tonight was Mac and Cheese with salad. I don't care much for the salad, but the Mac and Cheese is one of my favorites. It reminds me of one of my first Girl cooking experiences where she let me lick out the pot after she was finished cooking. And after she and Guy had finished eating. Really, its my way of helping them to clean up. Either way.

It was early in our life together as a family. Girl bought me from my breeders in North Carolina and delivered me as a gift to Guy on their one year anniversary. Usually this is the kiss of death in a relationship...or so I've heard....but 4 years after entering their lives (or them entering mine!!) all is well. In fact, they are getting married in the fall! In Colorado!!! And I get to go! Not to the ceremony, of course. Girl said that I wasn't allowed in the church since I wasn't baptized or something....but I would rather run around in my Colorado family's backyard with Bella, Lily, and Roscoe than sit quietly in a church.

So, Girl cooked Mac and Cheese one night when we first met, and then took a picture of me licking out the pot (proof above!!). They since referred to me as "Pot Head" whenever I did this. Drug connotations aside, Mac and Cheese is delicious. Who wouldn't lick out the remnants?! (I swear that I have seen Guy do it on more than one occasion....)

Tail Wag,

Beauty

Eeyore Day

You know that mopey donkey who sometimes hangs out with Winnie the Pooh? His name is Eeyore, he often loses his tail (never happens to me...wouldn't that be freaky??), lives in a tent made of sticks, and is often very sad. Especially when the weather is bad. Well. Today was an "Eeyore day". It was rainy and cold and disgusting. I went out for a walk with Guy this morning, and neither of us expected the rain. Poor Guy. He already had his work clothes on and got totally soaked waiting for me to do my business. I would have hurried, but we all know, it doesn't work that way. Maybe after some Indian food, but never after a normal day of dog food.

Anyway, the weather here in DC makes me sad sometimes. And when it isn't raining and cold, usually its so hot and humid that I can barely breathe. I should probably just move back to Colorado and play with Lily and my Colorado family. Did I tell you that I got to see Lilly on Google-Chat the other day?! It was great! She heard me squeak Jerry's head and then ran around in circles...after getting her dog nose all over the computer screen, of course.

My Colorado family visits next week! Along with my West Virginia family! They are both coming out for Guy's graduation from law school...they say that it's been 3 years, but it feels more like 21. I go crazy whenever the families come to town...usually embarrassing myself by writhing on the ground whenever someone pets my tummy...

So, even though today began as an Eeyore Day, it has significantly cheered up since Guy told me that the families were coming to town....see, that's all it takes. A bit of good news to spark the excitement of looking forward to the next fun thing.

Guy is making the coffee that automatically brews in the morning (it's incredible that the machine knows when he will wake up!!), this means that I get my dog cookie soon if I go to my bed. Good night!!

Tail Wag,

Beauty

Good news day!

I got good news today!! My, Girl and Guy's friend who moved to Portland is coming to stay with us in August!! Portland moved away a while ago. But before that she used to come over and play with me. She was really good at tug-o-war, and "shark out of water"...where I lie on the ground near where she sits and leap up for whatever she has in her hands...toys, tennis balls, treats. I could be a shark. I can't wait to play with her again.

I helped Girl cook dinner tonight. I got some pita chips in my bowl, and some corn and beans that Girl accidentally dropped on the floor. I'm pretty good at cleaning up after myself though, so Girl doesn't mind when I eat what she spills. I lick the floor clean whenever she drops food. I count that as one way I contribute towards the rent. The other way is when I have crazy time.

"Crazy Time". Thats what Guy and Girl call it anyway. Basically I sprint around the apartment - careful to avoid the corners of the couch and the wall - while they clap and yell "BEAUTYYYYY!!!! BEAUTYYYYYY!!!!!". Its such a release for me after a long day of laying on my comfy bed. They LOVE it when I do this!! I try to do it at least once a day - it makes them happy, which I consider more valuable than dollars towards rent...everyone wins!

Jerry's squeaky head is calling me. Gotta run. Can't wait for Portland to get here!!

Tail Wag,

Beauty

Girl's Friend

Girl's friend came over today. I love her. She stayed on our couch for a while when she had a rough patch. Something about a bad breakup...whatever that is. Either way. She seemed sad for a while. But I tried my best to cheer her up. She slept on the pull-out couch...which is in my sleeping area (anywhere other than the bedroom or bathroom)...so I sniffed her face when she slept, and liked to see if I could wake her up to feed me. Most of the time it worked. Except for one time.

Guy got up early to go to work. Girl's friend was sleeping in the living room. (FYI-there is no wall between kitchen and living room.) I don't know what time it was, but it was early...barely any sun was shining. Guy started to scoop my food from the bag and Girl's friend sat bolt-upright in bed and yelled "BEAUTY!!! NO!!!!! CAGE!!!". There are a few things wrong with this....aside from the fact that someone was yelling at me while I was having my one meal of the day.

1. She assumed that a well-trained, respectable dog like myself would eat from her food bag...when the food was not scooped into my bowl.

2. She yelled "cage". During the few weeks she stayed with us, she commonly referred to my bed or "kennel" as "cage". I haven't been in a cage since before I can remember. It's "kennel"...and "kennel" is a soft bed with lots of toys on it. Jerry is in my kennel. It's a happy place.

So, poor Guy had to quietly remind Girl's friend that he was awake. And that he was, indeed, feeding me....not that I was eating on my own volition out of the bag of dog food. I would never do that. I would never betray the trust that Guy and Girl have for me by eating the food that was not served to me.

But. I forgave Girl's friend. She'd had a rough time. I scarfed my food, then went and breathed the remnants into her sleepy face.

Girl is taking me out to pee soon, I better go. I hear her getting my leash ready.

Tail wag,

Beauty

First things first

Hi! I thought that I would introduce myself since this is my first post. And since we can't sniff butts, which is my normal way of meeting someone, this will have to do. My name is Beauty. I was born in North Carolina and have lots of brothers and sisters...but I never see them. We all moved away when we were babies.

I have two roommates...Guy and Girl. They pay all the rent, but I contribute by letting them rub my stomach or play with my floppy dog ears. I am a Labrador Retriever, but prefer to forget the latter part of the breed name. Sometimes when Guy really wants to play fetch, I'll do the Retriever thing, but not for long. What's the point? Every time I bring back the ball, he throws it away again.

It's Sunday here...which means that I share the apartment with Guy and Girl all day. To make matters worse, Girl decided to vacuum today. She says that we have to do it once a week, at least, otherwise we have a "Beauty Carpet" on the floor. The idea of a carpet made of my fur does not bother me. What DOES bother me is the vacuum. Girl says that its common with dogs, but then she gets mad when I jump over the couch to avoid being sucked into the machine.

Oh, I'm not allowed on the furniture. Well, sometimes. But only if I am invited. And it usually doesn't last very long.

I get to go outside soon!!

Tail Wag,

Beauty