Fun with the boneheads

I recently have been busy, quite busy. My captors changed the passwords on their laptops and I have been unable to communicate via this vital mode of binary coding. Don't let the dirt on my nose fool you, I have been driven underground, and have to bury my laptop in the "yard". Yard, that's prison talk for the field where they force us to march in formation. Oh yeah, they have some squirrels in the trees and free dogs that walk by to give us something to yap at. But, I'm on to them. I saw a Disney special where they had talking and dancing animals, fake ones, but they were eerily similar to the ones I see around this place. Following my food strike, they brought in a better plate of gruel. It may have actual meat in it, what kind of meat is a serious question? The lab reports of the gruel content should be back any day. My bet is that they are having us eat table scraps that were saved from Girl and Guy's wedding. There was some Purple Frosting in my bowl. It might have been the Raven's cake. We watched their game and they were robbed. Heck, the team that beat them are called the "Stealers". They could go to one syllable and be the Thieves. We have the Broncos here, aka the Donkeys, they only won 3 games, and according to Girl's Dad, they are already mathematically eliminated from next year. I looked it up, and he might be full of it. But, it's almost baseball season, maybe they'll give us a couple of baseballs to throw at the mechanical animals they stole from that Disney place. Well, I have got to go, the screws (prison guards) are throwing us a milk bone.

As Always, The Beauty

P.S. They put that fake mud on my nose and feet when they staged the picture.

Mac and Me

That's me on the left with Bella slobbering on my back,

and Jemima (white Lab) behind me on hunting trip.

Today we were out front hitting golf balls down the street, and watching that little bag of energy named Lily, run full speed back and forth retrieving the little white balls. It was great fun. Frankly, I think that Girl's Dad (GD) is too cheap to pay for a bucket of balls down at the local golfery.

Anyway, during the somewhat embarrassing display of mindless obedience by Lily, and shameless sucking up by the little b*tch, I decided to slip away. I went along the bushes with my head down while Lily continued her ridiculous behavior, in my attempt to make a few necessary social visits. GD whistled me back several times. Have I mentioned that he does this exact same thing while we are hunting. It bothers me a bit when he does that. I never see him on the ground, running after the birds on all fours, and does he ever pick up one of those filthy wild chickens in his mouth? NOOO! Not even to show us how. Sorry, I got off track for a bit, a moth flew by and I chased it. GD underestimated my savvy and cunning nature, he's a fool. Anyway, I slipped off when they went inside after they lost the golf ball. I sat quietly for a few moments and then skulked off. I visited a few little dogs as I went along and greeted a couple of my minions as I headed down to the Goodmans. Mac lives there, he's a big Golden Retriever who loves to wrestle, run and play. He knows how to treat a lady, and I might add, he doesn't finish off his food bowl. I did, I licked it clean. We played for some time, until Girl's good friend Christie called Girl's Mom (GM) who called GD who called Girl's brother (GB1) who came to walk me home. Like I couldn't have found my own way. I passed the other yipping mutts with my head held high, they stay in their yards like good little dogs, but I Got Game. They are a tad envious, but still love me for my heroic ecapades.

Bird Dreams

The Beauty here,

I spent the last weekend finding pheasants and chasing them into the air. It's noble work, dating back centuries as a sport of Royalty. I think polo is another one, but alas, they won't get me a horse. We went to South Dakota, there were thousands of birds, you could call it an "in-pheas-tation" Hah! The rain dogs came with us. Bella is a robot, runs all day, she might be an alien robot. Lily did OK, but she froze with all the birds in the air and shotguns going off. I told her that she'd be OK and we spent the rest of that day jogging as a team. On occasion, girl's Dad, shocked me. Who does he think I am, Ted Bundy? It only happened twice and did not deter me from running out and meeting new friends and chasing birds. We are going again in two weeks, this time to Kansas. Here is a video of me chasing a deer. This is apparently frowned upon by the locals.

With Love, Always The Beauty

The Honeymoon

Apparently, Guy and Gal are on their way home, They didn't phone or Facebook me even once while they honey-mooned. They may have forgotten that I'm the reason that they fell in love and married each other in the first place. I taught them about love, happiness, affection, curling up and laying on the couch for a quiet afternoon (I can do that anytime I want in Colorado), the soft look of another's eyes, listening without judgement, a gentle paw on the knee that calms, communication without talking........ I could go on, but you get the idea.

Did you know that the real name for my breed is "Love-Adore". You sometimes will hear people call us Labradors, but now you'll know what they really mean.

With Love and Adoration, Beauty, the Love-Adore

P.S. That blotch on my nose came from digging an ever so tiny hole in the backyard

RaRa....

The Beauty Here,

Look at RaRa, he lost his mind and the wedding bouncers had to give him the heave-ho. He looked good before the wedding, not so good after the wedding. He needs a leash, not me.

Always the Beauty

The Wedding

My Dear Readers,

The wedding happened! They are married, officially and that makes me the "Family Dog"!

Everyone keeps telling me how great the wedding was. Frankly, that is getting a tad exasperating to me. I have two very good eyes, and after checking my calendar, I find that September 25th, their wedding date, was wide open. I was left sitting home with the dog doofus twins. I walk nicely, and would have been absolutely triumphant if I'd been allowed to walk down the aisle.

But nooooo! I am left home like a Hefty bag full of grass clippings. Didn't see a thing. I heard that there was enough food dropped on the floor of the reception "Ball Room", to keep a kennel of 100 dogs happy for a month. I should have been there. I mean it, how much more available does it get, my calendar doesn't have a thing in it for 3 months.

Now, the two of them are traipsing around Europe. I like to walk, I love to walk. And walking around eating through the cities of Europe would have been delightful. Especially for those that were fortunate enough to meet me.

Well, I'm tired of typing and am ready to get my Lab on, that's dogspeak for bed time. For those of you who went to the wedding; quit telling me about it. Much happiness to Guy and Girl. With lots of Love and a nanogram of Resentment,

Always the Beauty

They're Here! They're Here!

Guy and Girl are here! I was snoozed in the kitchen, that's where the food is, when I heard Guy's voice and laugh. Running through the open door to the garage, I greeted him and Girl. They are here to get married, finally legitimizing me as the "Family Dog". We played and rolled around until they got tired. They just came from sea level, so they're kinda weak and needed to go to bed. They did insult me a bit. Girl said I was a "Fatty". My three breakfast mornings ended a week ago, and I've actually slimmed down, trimming four pounds. My self esteem is intact and I am sure that once they see me running and playing with the "Rain Dogs", they'll think again. I have a strong athletic body, and am more muscular than other Labs. All of that doesn't matter, I am happy they are here, and are now going to make an honest family dog of me.

Always the Beauty